The 3 R’s to Preserve Purity in Marriage
No marriage is ever perfect. Yet, most couples try and find ways to continually make it better.
When a man and woman come together and choose to get married, they make a vow to each other – and before God – to love and care for each other. While the wording of vows might vary somewhat, the essence of all vows is to love and respect each other. Forever.
This means the couple will put forth the effort to work together as a team.
Unfortunately, as a marriage progresses there are many distractions and temptations that challenge that vow. Some manage to continually renew their vows and keep their marriage pure. Others struggle with diversions and lose their way, sometimes ending the relationship.
The reality is there will always be invitations to explore something new, different, or seemingly better. These enticements never stop.
So how does a couple preserve their marriage and keep their vows? There is power in the value of purity.
Unfortunately, many people associate purity with perfection. But the only connection between these two values is the direction of focus. Pure thoughts and deeds seek to move one in the direction of perfection.
Let’s be clear here. There was only one who was ever perfect – Christ. He promoted the importance of oneness and repentance, two attributes that form the basis of the value of purity. Christ also made clear the benefit of purity, when He said: “Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see God.” [Matthew 5:8] That is the ultimate goal!
Purity also provides an important benefit in a marriage. A man and woman can see each other as they are and still love each other.
When a man and woman come together and choose to get married, they make a vow to each other – and before God – to love and care for each other. While the wording of vows might vary somewhat, the essence of all vows is to love and respect each other. Forever.
This means the couple will put forth the effort to work together as a team.
Unfortunately, as a marriage progresses there are many distractions and temptations that challenge that vow. Some manage to continually renew their vows and keep their marriage pure. Others struggle with diversions and lose their way, sometimes ending the relationship.
The reality is there will always be invitations to explore something new, different, or seemingly better. These enticements never stop.
So how does a couple preserve their marriage and keep their vows? There is power in the value of purity.
The Value of Purity
As a differentiating value, Purity means unity of the essence of an entity; or clean and free of extraneous material.Unfortunately, many people associate purity with perfection. But the only connection between these two values is the direction of focus. Pure thoughts and deeds seek to move one in the direction of perfection.
Let’s be clear here. There was only one who was ever perfect – Christ. He promoted the importance of oneness and repentance, two attributes that form the basis of the value of purity. Christ also made clear the benefit of purity, when He said: “Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see God.” [Matthew 5:8] That is the ultimate goal!
Purity also provides an important benefit in a marriage. A man and woman can see each other as they are and still love each other.
Preserving Purity in Marriage
To help a couple keep their marriage vows, and reap the rewards, here are three ways ( 3 R’s) to preserve purity in marriage.- Reject distractions. The best way to prevent problems is to avoid the temptation in the first place. If one has a natural weakness to an addiction, then make plans to sidestep it. As a wise man once said, the best way to avoid marriage problems is to not stop at the bar on the way home from work.
- Repent transgressions. Of course mistakes do happen. Words are said and actions are taken that hurts the one you love. Bad stuff creeps in. Just as a home needs to be maintained, so do relationships. Continually work to keep clean and free of anything that comes in between. It’s also important each spouse understands the other’s language of apology and say it with honesty and authenticity.
- Renew vows. No need to wait for a major milestone (e.g. 25 years) to renew marriage vows. Re-stating, re-committing, and re-articulating a promise is a great way to remind each other of a desired intent, and fend off extraneous enticements.
